You Don't Have a Dad Bod Problem. You Have a Fit Problem.

Let me show you something.

Take two men. Same height. Same weight. Same build. Put one in a well-fitted outfit and the other in what most guys grab off the rack.

The difference is startling. The first guy looks 15 pounds lighter. More athletic. Put-together.

The second guy looks... like he gave up.

Same body. Same person. Just different clothes.

This is what I mean when I say you don't have a dad bod problem. You have a fit problem.

Why Everything in Your Closet Is Wrong

Most men's clothing—especially the stuff that's marketed to men over 40—is cut for a body that doesn't exist.

It's designed for a guy who's tall, lean, with narrow hips and broad shoulders in perfect proportion. Someone built like a mannequin.

That's not you. It's not me. It's not anyone.

So when you buy a shirt off the rack, here's what happens:

• If you buy to fit your shoulders, it's way too big in the body
• If you buy to fit your body, it pulls across the shoulders
• If you buy to fit your stomach, it's a tent everywhere else

Same problem with pants. Same problem with jackets. The proportions are wrong for actual human bodies that have been lived in for four decades.

And then you look in the mirror and think: "I need to lose weight."

Sometimes that's true. But often? You just need clothes that were actually made for your shape.

The Things That Make You Look Heavy

Let me get specific. Here's what's adding visual weight to your frame right now.

Too much fabric in the body

If your shirt could fit another half of you inside it, you look bigger than you are. The eye follows the outline of the fabric, not your actual body underneath.

That "relaxed fit" shirt? It's making you look relaxed about an extra 20 pounds you might not even have.

Shoulders that don't hit

The shoulder seam of your shirt should land exactly where your shoulder ends and your arm begins. Feel for the bony point at the edge of your shoulder—that's where the seam goes.

If it's hanging two inches down your arm, the whole shirt is draped wrong. You look like you borrowed your bigger brother's clothes.

Pants that pool at the ankle

Too much "break"—that's the fold of fabric where your pants meet your shoes—makes your legs look shorter and heavier. The current trend for dress pants is little to no break. For jeans, a slight stack is fine, but a puddle around your ankles is not.

Low-rise pants on a higher stomach

This is an uncomfortable one but I have to say it. If you carry weight in your midsection, low-rise pants will create a muffin-top effect. Your stomach pushes over the waistband, creating a visual break at the widest point of your torso.

Mid-rise or high-rise pants that sit at or just below your natural waist will actually contain that weight and create a smoother line.

Dark on bottom, light on top (for most body types)

If you're carrying weight in your midsection, putting the lightest color on top just highlights it. Darker colors on top, lighter or medium on bottom tends to be more forgiving.

Horizontal stripes (obviously, but worth saying)

They really do make you look wider. It's not a myth.

What Proper Fit Actually Looks Like

When clothes fit correctly, you shouldn't be constantly aware of them. You're not tugging at anything, adjusting anything, or sucking anything in.

Here's a quick checklist:

Shirts:

• Shoulder seams hit at the edge of your shoulder
• You can pinch about 2-3 inches of excess fabric at the side seam (enough to move, not enough to tent)
• The shirt follows the shape of your torso without pulling anywhere
• Buttons don't gap across the chest or stomach
• Sleeves hit somewhere between mid-forearm and wrist, depending on the style

Pants:

• The waist sits where it's supposed to (no muffin top, no constant pulling up)
• Thighs have enough room to sit comfortably without straining
• You can pinch a bit of fabric at the thigh—not skin-tight, not billowing
• The rise (crotch to waistband) is appropriate for your torso length
• The taper from knee to ankle is flattering (not too wide, not painted on)

Jackets/Blazers:

• Shoulder seams hit at the shoulder point
• The collar of your shirt shows about half an inch above the jacket collar
• Sleeves show about half an inch of shirt cuff
• The jacket buttons without pulling (you should be able to slip a fist between the buttoned jacket and your stomach)
• The bottom of the jacket covers your butt but doesn't hang past it

The Fit Mistakes That Age You

Beyond just looking heavier, poor fit has another effect: it makes you look older.

Here's why.

When everything is slightly too big—the classic "comfortable" fit that most men default to—it reads as "I've given up on how I look." That's coded as older, less vital, checked out.

Clothes that actually fit convey that you still care. That you're still in the game. That you respect yourself and expect others to do the same.

I'm not saying wear skinny jeans at 52. That's the opposite problem—trying to dress too young just highlights the disconnect.

I'm saying wear clothes that were chosen intentionally for your body, right now, as it is.

That reads as confident at any age.

What About the Weight?

Look, I'm not going to pretend clothes are magic. If you're significantly overweight, clothing fit can only do so much.

But here's what I've noticed:

When men start wearing clothes that actually fit, they often become more motivated to take care of themselves. The two feed each other.

You put on a shirt that shows your actual shape instead of hiding it under a circus tent, and suddenly you're aware of your body in a different way. Sometimes that's uncomfortable at first. But it's also motivating.

I've had clients who started with a wardrobe reset and ended up losing 30 pounds over the next year. Not because I told them to. Because looking better made them want to keep going.

The opposite is also true. When you're hiding in oversized clothes, you're less connected to your body. It's easier to ignore what's happening underneath.

So yes, take care of your health. Move your body. Eat reasonably. All of that matters.

But don't wait until you hit some goal weight to dress well. Dress well now, for the body you have now. It'll help more than you think.

Finding Clothes That Actually Fit

The hard truth: most stuff off the rack won't fit you perfectly. That's just reality for anyone who isn't shaped like a mannequin.

You have three options:

Option 1: Find brands that cut for your body type

Different brands have different fits. If you're shorter, look for brands with a "short" sizing option. If you're carrying extra weight in the middle, look for "athletic cut" which usually gives more room in the chest and stomach while still tapering appropriately.

This takes trial and error. But once you find brands that work for your body, stick with them.

Option 2: Get things tailored

A tailor can take in the sides of a shirt, shorten sleeves, hem pants, and generally make a $60 shirt look like a $200 shirt.

Most alterations cost $15-40. That's nothing for clothes that actually fit.

Find a good tailor. Develop a relationship. Everything you buy runs through them before it goes in your closet.

Option 3: Work with someone who understands fit

This is what I do. I don't just pick pieces I think look good—I pick pieces that I know will work for your specific proportions, and I give you exact sizing recommendations based on your photos and measurements.

No more trial and error. No more buying five things and returning four of them.

The Payoff

When your clothes fit, something shifts.

You stand a little taller. You stop tugging at your shirt. You stop avoiding reflective surfaces.

You're not thinking about your clothes because they're just... working. They're doing their job.

And other people respond differently too. They can't put their finger on why, but you seem more confident. More together. More like someone to take seriously.

All because your shoulder seams hit in the right place.

It sounds superficial. It kind of is. But it's also real. The world treats well-dressed people differently. You might as well be one of them.

Not sure what actually fits your body? That's half of what I figure out during the intake process. Photos tell me a lot about proportion, and from there it's just matching you with brands and cuts that work for your specific build.